Post by The Announcer on Jul 2, 2011 1:24:29 GMT -5
Good morning, mercenaries.
I hope I don't see any friendships blooming among you. That would be of the highest treason.
However, to you mercenaries applying for a job... you seem to be a little lost on what a resume is. It is a document containing facts about yourself.
Not a drawing of a cat.
In any case, due to your imminent incompetence I have drawn up a little document. I highly expect you to review it in full detail, and not just draw cats on it. Those who continue to draw cats on their resumes will all be accepted, and then have respawn forget about them.
Are we clear?
Good.
Now, I suspect that you are all not terribly smart. This is barely even a suspicion; it is a fact, and I am not entirely sure why I should even bother pretending otherwise. So I have added notes as to what you can and should write down. On the list of what not to write, is anything related to the drawing or otherwise love of cats. Those of you planning to be funny and draw cats, leave now. And never return.
Anyway. Here is the application format, for your viewing pleasure.
Breaking character for a moment.
There's a few other bits and pieces we need from you, in order to adequately judge your ability to roleplay.
First Person Perspective:
Just give us a general idea of your character's perspective. I personally suggest the train ride, how they feel towards the company, etcetra. Supply us with a picture of your character's thoughts! Words are a bonus. Maybe communicate with another app-er?
Third Person Perspective:
Same sort of thing, but shoot for a combat scene. Focus less on the internal thoughts and more on the external actions. Both of these don't have to be longer than a paragraph, but it's nice if you write more.
I hope I don't see any friendships blooming among you. That would be of the highest treason.
However, to you mercenaries applying for a job... you seem to be a little lost on what a resume is. It is a document containing facts about yourself.
Not a drawing of a cat.
In any case, due to your imminent incompetence I have drawn up a little document. I highly expect you to review it in full detail, and not just draw cats on it. Those who continue to draw cats on their resumes will all be accepted, and then have respawn forget about them.
Are we clear?
Good.
Now, I suspect that you are all not terribly smart. This is barely even a suspicion; it is a fact, and I am not entirely sure why I should even bother pretending otherwise. So I have added notes as to what you can and should write down. On the list of what not to write, is anything related to the drawing or otherwise love of cats. Those of you planning to be funny and draw cats, leave now. And never return.
Anyway. Here is the application format, for your viewing pleasure.
[u]Name:[/u]
What is your name? Worthless, but very good for when we track down your next of kin.
[u]Age:[/u]
How old are you? This is standard, fun procedure. I get to make teenagers cry at rejection. A general range is fine, if you're a stupid age-conscious little merc.
[u]Date of Birth:[/u]
A month and a day will do. Anything more is useless, anyway, as we already have your name and age. It would be very hard not to find you with the information in the first place.
[s]Team[/s] [u]Favorite Color[/u]:
Do you like RED or BLUe better? This won't ever matter, again, ever. It's best if you just fill in your favorite color and drop the matter.
[u]Gender:[/u]
Write cat and I will find you.
[u]Languages:[/u]
We don't really care, but it's always good to know how much... communication... you can make with the enemy.
[u]Personality:[/u]
Most of this will be filled in with background checks. Lots and lots of intrusive, secret-finding background checks. Maybe you just want to admit the sort of person you are now, and skip the background checks. This sort of thing, as a note to both you, and our top investigators, should include your strengths, weaknesses, and anything else generally interesting. [i]Sexuality[/i] included. Be sure to correct their self confident mistakes, investigator.
[u]History:[/u]
Do you still want to avoid the horrendous background checks? Good. Tell us, on no uncertain terms, your ethnicity. Your history. Country of origin. Etcetra. It's best if you give us your secrets before we rip them from you. And inform your next of kin.
[u]Appearance:[/u]
Give us a general idea of what we're hiring. I requested pictures, but since frequently all I receive is pictures of genitalia, it's best to get a description from you. Eye color, hair color, all of that. We do not need to know if the carpet matches the drapes. That is what investigators are for.
If you want to avoid investigation, at least a paragraph in length, please. For those who don't want to do pictures, see below.
[u]Image:[/u]
You just drew a cat, didn't you.
This is not required, but for those of you too lazy to get out a camera and take a picture of yourself, you should be writing a paragraph or two more in your self description. You shall not thrive in anonymity forever.Breaking character for a moment.
There's a few other bits and pieces we need from you, in order to adequately judge your ability to roleplay.
First Person Perspective:
Just give us a general idea of your character's perspective. I personally suggest the train ride, how they feel towards the company, etcetra. Supply us with a picture of your character's thoughts! Words are a bonus. Maybe communicate with another app-er?
Third Person Perspective:
Same sort of thing, but shoot for a combat scene. Focus less on the internal thoughts and more on the external actions. Both of these don't have to be longer than a paragraph, but it's nice if you write more.